Connection over Correction
In today’s article, I am going to talk about a very interesting session that I recently attended. Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a renowned author and a clinical psychologist, has been talking at length about how changes in parenting regime can lead to better approach towards developing relation.
While I gathered many key points in this one hour session, the most important was the one I have used as title of this article – Connection over Correction.
Traditional parenting has been more about giving command and power in the hands of parents to exercise a control over their children. While this works to an extent, as kids grow and gain exposure to various environmental stimuli, they start questioning things that are not easy for them to accept ‘just like that’. In our traditional ways of parenting, we put up a question on the child’s discipline and do not quite welcome such queries everytime.
While in more evolved form of parenting, it is important to know that the child is a separate sovereign entity. This empowers the child to raise questions and seek answers to his/ her curiosity. Thus the concept of ‘Connection’; Parents need to be connected to their child and understand what their little minds doubt. Only when parents are able to really know and acknowledge the individuality of their kid, can they respect their thoughts and queries.
Connection refers to making a relation with the child in a way that you are open to discussion with him/ her, instead of labelling the conversation as an argument. Traditional parenting emphasizes more on making corrections based on what parents think is the right thing to do for the child. Evolved parenting, however, focuses on individuality of the child and exploring them to understand best way of empowering them.
Hence connecting with children is more important than being fearful of always having to correct them. Choice lies in the hands of parents – whether you want to be a Controlling Parent or an Evolved one.